Puerto Rican Strip Clubs

SUCK. I really can't say much more than that. SUCK. I could use expletives but why, in the end, the strip clubs out here royally SUCK.

Sunday is really the day of Lord out here so everything closes early but restaurants and of course SKRIP CLUBS. A quick K.P. research lands us at DIVAS GENTLEMENS CLUB. Situated on a lavish strip of realty in the middle of San Juan, DIVAS is where the women of puerto rico come to build their resume in the area of STRIP TEASE.
oooo la la.

Paid $10 to get in and was given a free drink card (which when you try to redeem you're given some black market off brand liquor with some store brand juice). Here is where the SU comes as you must continue to drink a beverage as long as you're there. Thats right...you wanna see some chi chi's and nalgas, you have to always be consuming something. Whack! Ordered a damned heineken which costed $9.50, thats not a typo...NINE DOLLARS AND 50 CENTS! I can go on a date for $9.50 and get more than TOPLESS DANCING.

Seeing how we were in Puerto Rico and every women we've passed on the streets, malls, and various establishments are neck breaking beautiful, I expected some bad women. Like 40-50 inch butts and cup sizes in the Ds and above but noooooooo we get three girls...3! And now this is where the CK completes the word...SUCK! We stayed for an hr and saw all of them twice which is the first for me. The highlight of the night was me having a pretty elaborate conversation with one of the dancers while she was on stage performing. Found out her real name, that she's from MIAMI and that she really had to boo boo. All in all, it beat staying home watching DEADLIEST CATCH MARATHON.

The moral of the story? DO NOT GO TO DIVAS. HELL, DO NOT GO OUT OF THE COUNTRY TO VISIT A STRIP CLUB. In hindsight I feel really damned stupid for forking over $20 tonight. DEADLIEST CATCH doesn't sound too bad now that I think of it. I told Pounders to just call the girl on craigslist. At least with craigslist you're guaranteed happy endings.